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Why Does Divorce Occur?

Divorce occurs when one of two partners believes that some of their fundamental needs cannot and be met by the other partner. What these fundamental needs are will vary from person to person and couple to couple. But the act of marriage affirms that the participants believe that their needs will be met. Universal needs are based on nurturing, which we tend to look at as more of an infantile, young adult need. But even adults need to have their value as an individual constantly reaffirmed.

The “individual” can be broken down into several components. We need to be made to feel intellectually intact: another way of saying that our thinking abilities creates a pathway to family success. We need to be made to feel physically intact: that our raw strength is adequate and our ability to procreate is sufficient to grow the family. Finally, we need to be made to feel emotionally intact: that one's needs and desires on an emotional level are reasonable and within societal norms. This means these emotional needs should be met.

If one of these components are missing from a relationship it commonly leads to a breakdown of intimacy, trust, and love. Excellent communication between a couple can occasionally salvage a relationship, but oftentimes marriage counseling is needed. If this is not successful, a splitting usually occurs. Splitting almost always causes emotional pain. The partner asking for the split may suffer less, but the family as a unit, grieves. The partner being asked for the split at first, it likely to lash out and seek retribution for the suffering you are perceived to have caused. But a partner who is a rational thinker is likely to bring these desires to an end and an amicable close to relationship can be achieved.

It is only in the cases where one of the two marital partners has emotional dysfunction that a high conflict divorce ensues. Having the emotional strength and physical stamina to see things through, is of paramount importance. But the ladder to success is created by knowledge of how to navigate the legal process. You can avoid every pitfall and gain the legal knowledge you need to win at divorce.